instant gratification

I wanted to title this 'a masturbatory existence', but for the sake of a cleaner blog I decided against it. Its been one of those days which may or may not go down as a critical juncture in life, if only we could see these in advance. I feel like I have been in this ugly miasma which I entered all by myself and found myself glorifying as my existence. I do not believe that I will wake up tomorrow and find myself leading a completely new existence, but I believe that I might have seen something. A glimmer of light which may help me find my way out of the darkness. Maybe it took me dislocating my shoulder or maybe it took the love of my life telling me that I took too much for granted, including her, or maybe the pain from the first finally woke me enough from my addled sleep to listen to the words that this beautiful woman had been throwing my way for several months now.

When I was talking to her I had a thought and it was about humanity and how we have changed in the past two decades. There was a time when we knew that anything good took time and patience to make, that anything worthwhile was obtained with effort. But when I look at everything around me, and I do not exclude myself I see a shift in paradigm. Everyone wants everything, but no one is willing to work for it.

Instant gratification is the mantra and it is no longer looked as something bad but rather something to be desired. Everyone is looking for the resulting orgasm, without wondering if we are simply shooting blanks. Does any of this have any meaning? Does anything I have said have any meaning? I feel like I need to wake up or lose myself in a meaning existence devoid of joy and fulfillment.